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Feature Items

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29/11/2015 Tufty's Shack: 2016 Crystal Ball

25/03/2014 The Sense in his Sacrifice

09/12/2013 F1 End-of-Term Report

15/11/2013 Silly Season 2014 [Edition 3]

15/09/2013 Tufty's Shack: GP2 Season Climax

30/08/2013 Tufty's Shack: GP3 Season Climax

19/08/2013 Tufty's Shack: Silly Season [Edition 2]

23/07/2013 Tufty's Shack: Silly Season [Edition 1]

26/03/2013 Formula One: A Team Sport?

03/02/2013 'Tuftys Point' - Red Bull

03/02/2013 'Tuftys Point' - Sauber

03/02/2013 'Tuftys Point' - Ferrari

03/02/2013 'Tuftys Point' - Force India

31/01/2013 'Tuftys Point' - McLaren

30/01/2013 'Tuftys Point' - Team Lotus

16/01/2013 Monesupermarket.com Driver of the Year

29/11/2012 FOFA Christmas Competition, in association with FreestyleXtreme

14/10/2012 Title Talk

21/09/2012 A Highlight in Spa!

14/04/2012 Tuftys Shack Episode 14

22/03/2012 Sepang Circuit Preview

15/03/2012 Muddy Waters Greet Us For 2012

14/03/2012 Albert Park Circuit Preview

25/02/2012 Formula One™ Winter Testing – Jerez 2012

19/01/2012 Tufty's 2012 Predictions‏

Tuftys Shack Christmas Special
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Well it's certainly been a busy year. Or at least, that's my excuse for the Shack ending up hopelessly backdated now with things I had to write but didn't. Turns out university students, even in our first year, actually have to work. Who knew?

Anyway, it's been one of THOSE years for F1. The Schumacher dominance is long gone, but a younger version has taken over. Just as with Schumacher, he won the championship in his third full season, took a second one in a row, and despite not apparently being all that attractive, has become a sort of sex symbol for a lot of my female friends. Still, if he can win two World Titles with one finger, imagine what his whole hand can do...

Lewis Hamilton and Felipe Massa are F1's great double act. Well, I say that, I'm not sure 'great' covers it. All the great double acts in history have got along fairly well - Laurel and Hardy, the Lady and the Tramp, Prost and Senna... Well OK, there's a couple of exceptions that prove the rule there. Having said that, the other double acts listed wouldn't have been seen as all that great without the other half. Hamilton and Massa just weren't great, exactly BECAUSE they kept finding the other half. Then again, they kept the stewards in business...

Button and Alonso tried to emulate their teammates in Canada, but got it wrong: neither car got damaged, nobody got penalised, and all they got right was the Ferrari retirement. Not that I'm saying it's right that a Ferrari retires just because Massa tended to do it after a crash, of course. I'm totally merciless and unbiased to everyone. Except Williams. Awesome team. Should have won the title.

My original plan for this Shack, apart from getting it done about a month ago, was to do a brief report on each race. Then I remembered that I couldn't remember a lot of them without re-using material from earlier in the year. So, naturally, I tried to think of something new. The problem is, there's nothing much to add to the jokes from the time, because between myself and the Shack's various crystal balls, we exhausted the bad puns supply by about February. Impressive, that, given we didn't start writing until March.

OK, let's give it a shot. Bahrain went brilliantly, I can remember every last wheel rotation of that epic race. I mean the way those three grains of sand weaved and skittered their way up the main straight... such a shame the wind changed and they never crossed the line. It was then the FIA realised that HRT had broken the testing ban. They also went faster with those grains of sand than they achieved with their cars. The conclusion? Coat the cars in sand. I'm waiting for a top team to hire me for their aero division now...

Australia never had a race, as far as I'm concerned. Williams decided it was the perfect opportunity for sunbathing on the beach, so I've decided not to recall that race at all. Aside from Heidfeld playing dodgems.

Skip to Silverstone and another game of dodgems, a comedy of errors, and frankly a better script than I could have written. A 3-wheeled McLaren, bits of the other McLaren and the second Ferrari all over the track, and the new Wing complex, which was absolutely not given to the BRDC by a can of Red Bull.

Canada saw a similar act as one of the marshalls plastered himself over YouTube, followed by flying Renaults and a last-lap twisted ankle for the lead bull. Charlie Chaplin would have been proud.

Brazil then proved that the cars had managed to maintain a mere illusion of mechanical ability for the previous 18 races, as one by one gearboxes tried and failed to maintain  any real level of competence, and died.

Next year the Shack expects more bad jokes, more fans wishing I would actually say something funny for once, and our own SiberianLady throwing a major tantrum if Alonso retires from the Belgian Grand Prix for the second year in succession. And probably me getting soaked by her at some point nw I've said that.

I hope you have a great Christmas and a fantastic New Year. And for those of you who hate Christmas, look at it like this: the jokes in the crackers are better than mine!

Tufty



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